Random Fact: We Eat a Lot of Ramen. On Purpose.

Yep, here at 911 Pennsylvania, we LOOOOVE Ramen! Why, you ask? Well, per tradition, I will relieve your curiosity...with a list:

1. It's cheap. Like, really cheap. DUH!

2. It's versatile. Here are a few of the many ways we like to prepare it:
a) like the instructions say.
b) with soy sauce and sugar (works well with beef/chicken flavors).
c) with marinara and crushed red pepper (just chicken).
d) with soy sauce and peanut butter (oh yeah, that's a new discovery.)
e) add vegetables. enjoy.
f) drunkenly.

3. It tastes good! Woah, when you're in the mood for something salty, and incredibly easy to make, Ramen is the way to go.

4. It's an international treat. And we are classy, cultured people.

I could go on and on, but let's face it, it's New Years Eve. Time to party.

TTYNY*
V

*talk to you next year

happy birthday you hobag

the top ten top ten lists of 2008 of 2008

La la la!!!  It's that time of year; 2008 is coming to a close, and bloggers everywhere are getting giant, explosive hard-ons.  Why?  Because they (we?) can now make official sounding "top ten (fill-in-the-blank)s of 2008" lists and (thank you innernets) reminisce about the year before it's even over!!  It seems these days you can't even step outside your homepage without running into one of these lists, and I realize it can all get a little overwhelming.  Which is why I've compiled my Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2008, so you can relive the year in no time at all:

10. The Top 10 Worst Outfits of 2008

Because everyone loves judging people.  While I don't condone making fun of people who wear feathers, I did enjoy laughing at Holly Madison's cupcake attire (and her shiny, shiny shoulders) and Alex McCord's horrifying attempt at eco-friendly clothing.  But is it wrong to covet Paula Abdul's sparkle pants??

9.The Top 10 Talk Show Moments of 2008

This list should have been made up entirely of clips from The Tyra Banks Show, as far as I'm concerned.  Also, I wanna be Diane Keaton when I grow up.

8. The Top 10 Yahoo! Searches of 2008

Warning:  This will make you lose faith in humanity.  Search queries "Britney Spears" and "WWE" beat out "Barack Obama."  Then again, who searches with Yahoo! anymore?

7. The Top 10 Albums of 2008

Penned by Casey.  By his own admission, an apathetic list (if that's a thing), but one that makes me smile nonetheless.  Mostly because of the Lil Wayne shout out, and Casey's apparant self-hatred for loving that album.

6. The Top 10 YouTube Videos of 2008 

Huffington Post assembled this list by doing some crazy calculation of number of views, newsworthiness, and hilarity.  I hope they measured hilarity by knee slaps per minute or something equally as awesome. Whatever the method, YouTube makes my life complete, and so does this list. 

5. The Top 10 Viral Video Ads of 2008

Keeping with the YouTube theme.  I watched that man flip into his Levi's many, many times.  Ahh, the memories.

4. The Top 10 Underreported News Stories of 2008

This year the major networks got really busy reporting about celebrity vagina sightings and didn't quite have time to fit in stories like these.   I do my fair share of nerding out/NPR listening and I still find this list pretty terrifying.  

3. The Top 10 Cat Videos of 2008

I'm sorry, I had to.  In memory of M&M, who would have enjoyed these immensely. 

2.The Top 10 Judge Judy moments of 2008

WWJJD?  

1. The Top 10 Awkward moments of 2008

Because I eat, sleep and live awkward.  It's a lifestyle. My favorite top 10 list because somehow watching these awkward moments helps me feel a leeetle bit better about my own.  

Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year

Jan

Random Fact: Where Do We Wear Slippers? Everywhere.

While the title is pretty self-explanatory, I must tell you that we literally do wear slippers EVERYWHERE. The grocery store, school, the bars...you name the place, we'll name a time we've worn slippers there. If this doesn't sound like that big of a deal, or even worth writing about, I assure you, it is not. However, I feel as though this blog needs a weekly "column"...and the subject matter of this column is random facts about us. So there you have it, random fact #1: we wear slippers everywhere.

Amen.
V

is it just me, or should frank loesser be jailed?

Soooo I've recently realized the seemingly innocent Christmas carol "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is really just a how-to guide for date rape. It's like an extremely disturbing SVU episode, 1940s style. It was written by Frank Loesser, who was probably more deserving of an arrest warrant than the Tony he received. Guys, pull these moves out next time you bring a girl home from the bars, straight from Mr. Loesser, the ultimate bro:

1. Start by saying "I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice" or "mind if I move in closer?" Both great opening lines. Or my personal favorite, "man, you're lips look delicious," which is featured not once but twice throughout the song. Classic.

2. When the lucky girl says things like "I really can't stay" or "I got to go away," respond with excuses such as "no cabs to be had out there" or tell her that she'll "catch pneunomia and die." Yes, tell her that she'll die if she tries to leave. Perfect.

3. So then she might start saying things like "my mother will start to worry" or "my father will be pacing the floor," you know, letting you know that people will notice when she's missing, but you just keep talking about how it's really in her best interest to stop trying to leave.

4. And the number one rule: when she starts questioning "say, what's in this drink?" you just keep talking about the weather until she slowly drifts off...

AND SCORE! Now really, she finally agrees to stay at the end of the song ( "well…..I really shouldn't...alright") but it's still the creepiest exchange I've ever heard. Although a Foundry bartender probably hears it multiple times a night.

I don't know if you're feeling as bah-humbugy as me this season, but may I recommend some of Erran Baron Cohen's lovely Hanukkah Carols to wash away those Christmas blues. And nooo, it's not because I've recently developed crushes on random jewish men, it's because it's really good, okay?

i know i'm supposed to be studying for finals but...

Some things just have to take priority. For example, I find it necessary to blog about the fact that olympic swimmer Dara Torres looks exactly like Spencer from "The Hills"





I told you!!! And look! They both love America!




update: they also participate in physical activity in/around water. I do not know why Spencer is jumping rope like a school girl. But I do know that their abs look eerily similar...





Also, they both have girl parts. Could Dara Torres be filling the four long, boring years between each Olympiad by trolling around Hollywood acting like a total douchebag? Is it possible that the existence of Spencer Pratt just one giant, Mrs. Doubtfire-esque practical joke Ms. Torres has conjured up for her own amusement? Discuss.

we have a tree!

see?

i can feel the sting in my mammaries...

In case any of you were wondering what life is like around these parts with Lauren gone (she's in Rhode Island partying it up 80's style this weekend), take a look at this video. We love women.

http://videogum.com/archives/viral-video/post-3_039582.html

videogum roools.


Vic and Jan

we finally got it!!!

Turns out there's this little website where videos are sometimes posted. Weird. Here it is, the link straight from the man himself, for everyone's enjoyment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZPMyaiVB1g

Nice work, Scott! 1 down, just 7 to go. Let's everyone pull together to make sure all of our

christmas dreams come true.

Jan

::edit link gone, as is our recent esteem for scott::

OMG!!!

lauren's back!!!!

-jan

Links we Like

Ok, so even though there isn't a new episode this week, here is a link to last week's episode of Pot Psychology, taken directly from Jezebel.com. (you're going to have to copy/paste for it to work, because apparently, blogger won't allow embedded video from Vimeo.com) Though nobody in the household partakes in regular drug-usage, all three of us partake in regular Pot-Psychology watch-age. It's a lifestyle, really.

http://vimeo.com/2308452


Oh, and I almost forgot, I walked in on my parents having sex the other day. Um...yeah, that doesn't get less awkward with age, let me tell you. All I could say was, "Oops, sorry. You guys have fun!" What else can you say to the woman who buys your birth control? Yikes.

xo,
V

Santa, Baby

So Thanksgiving is officially over, a fact that was forcibly shoved down my throat today by the sudden explosion of all things Christmas. My new favorite carol (in case you were interested) is "Holiday Shopping's Fun," a jingle Victoria and I had the pleasure of hearing in the car the other day. My mom and I decided to brave the crowds this Black Friday, only to get brain raped by a Verizon salesman, visit three separate stores to find stockings for our mantle, and hit a giant buck on the way home, which totaled my mom's car. Falafrickinla. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, particularity the Bailey's and cocoa/peppermint ice cream part. I'm just saying that venturing out to the stores can be very hazardous to your mental (and physcial, as it turns out) health. Which brings me to the reason for this post. I know a lot of you are really worried about getting us the perfect gift for Christmas, a concern that is completely well-founded, so I thought I would make it easier by posting THE OFFICIAL 911 PENN XMAS LIST 2008. By consulting this list, you can not only find us the perfect gift, but you can do it all while spending a minimal amount of time outside your house (a practice of which we girls are strong advocates.) So here it is...


1. The new Macbook. For blogging, of course. And for other things like homework (read: facebook.) Also so my current computer doesn't make me shoot myself in the face, which could happen very soon.







2. The other mac: the big one. For eating.

3. Sexy repairman for all of our household needs a.k.a. leaking roof and leaf raking. Also for escorting to the scary basement.







4. A channel that airs only The Soup 24 hours a day 365 days a year. And instead of commercials, it plays little bite size clips of Jon and Kate plus 8.





5. More soup. But instead of the tv kind the real kind.








6. An extra room in our house so Victoria and hot "i smile with my eyes" craigslist man could have both moved in.








7. Chuck Bass in my mini-bed.









8. A link to the video of Justin Timberlake dancing like Beyonce on SNL. Cannot. Find. ANYWHERE.





So there you have it. Christmas shop your little asses off. And keep in mind this is only a wish list, so if we don't get everything on it it's not like we'll be mad or anything. We'll just be a little disappointed is all. And we might inexplicably stop returning your phone calls. And you might find some poop in your bed.

TTYL(P),*
jan


*talk to you later (probably)

:::edit-changed our settings so now you can comment. tell us what you want and you most likely won't get it:::

what's in my tummy...

It's no secret that I take the occasional trip down Fast Food Lane. I'll do pretty much anything to add a little extra sodium and fat into my diet. Lord knows that the daily Ramen hasn't been doing the trick lately. Anyway, tonight I was feeling kind of spicy so I went to the Taco Bell drive through to get myself a quesadilla. Everything was going smoothly until I reached the dreaded second window. The twenty-something blonde girl working there hands me my little baggy and states (not asks), "You want some salsa-sauce....?"

I let out a little giggle...just a little one. Because at that moment, I was thinking three things: a) hell yes I want some sauce and I can't believe that I forgot to ask. b) it sucks that this poor girl was cursed with a valley-girl/robot voice. and c) "salsa sauce"?! oh my god, just say it out loud a few times and you'll see my point. hilarious.

-"Yes, please."

-"WHAT kind?"

-"Um, whatever your version of medium is."

So she says, in the SMARMIEST manner possible, "You mean HOT."

Excuse me? Whatever. Like I'm supposed to know the difference between HOT, SPICY and FIRE sauce? No matter what order you put them in, those words all indicate the same sort of flavor, not to mention the degree of flavor. Taken aback by the pure rudeness of this complete stranger, along with the ridiculousness of the situation, I reply with, "Um yeah, I guess."

Bitch rolled her eyes at me!!! As far as I'm concerned, that's worse than someone telling you to "shhhhhhhhh!"

What is the proper etiquette when someone rolls their eyes at you? I'm pretty sure the last time I saw an eye-roll with that much gusto was on an episode of "Full House". Aaah well, you can't win them all, I guess. At least the food was good. Have a good turkey day everyone and get ready to celebrate L's return to the kingdom...only 5 days left!

TTYN,
V

p.s. I didn't mean that. I'll totally TTYL.

gobble gobble gobble gobble!!!

2nd Annual Pilgrims and Indians Party: A Short List of Highlights (in order of appearance)...

-Costumes: paper Pilgrim hats, S&E's matching furry cavepeople Indian outfits, C's "I look like I'm going to a Phish concert" attempt at Indian gear, R's "dot" Indian (nice statement, bro), JB's dinosaur pendulum penis, J's turkey gobble and the slutty crotch sisters...

-Hey! That was a great transition...what do you think, J? The Indian names got pretty funkadelic. Among our personal faves are "Hiding Crotch" and "Sascrotch". Is it just J, or is "Hiding Crotch" a misnomer? (zing to me!)

-Full cup Flip cup and the faulty table. Other side, you got annihilated!

-Pin the Gobble on the Turkey. Best. Game. Ever.

-Hand turkeys at the craft table!!! Winner: Choda Turkey. Congrats to the lucky hand that modeled. You win a hand job. From a turkey.

-It smells like peppa up in this joint!

-An ear chomp, followed by many lip pecks. I take full responsibility for my actions and apologize to any who may have been harmed.

-Accidental segregation of Pilgrims from Indians.

-Rounding out the end of the night with mass amounts of Ramen, a visit from Mr. Jimmy John himself and a few accidental booty calls! yum!

Success! Thanks to all you troopers for helping us drink most of the keg and all the brandy.

TTYN,
V&J