Ambien CR: WTF?! : An Open Letter

WTF, Ambien CR?! "Safe and Effective", my ass! I took you Thursday night to help me fall asleep. You offered a promise of satisfaction. Let's take, for example, the people in your commercials: warm, relieved and asleep. Instead, I take the recommended dosage of you and experience a VERY different outcome.

I was neither relieved or asleep (and i guess the warm part is irrelevant). Instead, I WAS HIGH. I was extremely high. Not only was I high, but I was completely unaware that you were going to make me high. You roofied me, Ambien. You gave me a soda laced with enough acid to kill a small horse.

I was seeing things. Your "safe and effective" product gave me severe hallucinations of very scary things. It's like you threw me a "Surprise! It's About to be the Worst Night of Your Life" party. Not a very fun party, if you ask me.

Luckily, before it got too bad, MJ(R) made it over. And from what I remember, along with what I was filled in on later, he wasn't too happy with you either. Watch your back, Ambien CR. If MJ(R) saw you walking on the street, he would kick your ass like you dumped his little sister.

I saw bugs crawling everywhere. I thought there were people hiding around the house, trying to kill us. I even thought that the floor was plotting our violent demise. And I am angry.

I won't go into more specifics, but it was scary for everyone involved. Ambien CR, you have proven yourself to be very dangerous and I will never come near you again. You suck. In fact, I read that you have caused people to do things like driving in their sleep. That's not cool, and you should not be legal. Fail.

So WTF, Ambien CR?!

TTYN,
V